onlytheoceanandme.blogspot.com

the only show of the season was soooooo awesome!! i am so glad that i had the weird spontaneous desire to see them. oar and citizen cope are probably even better in real life. i am still so hyped up on this, i totally recommend them both to everyone. there was a huge storm last night, everyone got soaked. the concerts where i feel the grossest are always the best ones :)

I just have to tell the world, I am feeling so thankful for everything. I could not ask for a better life. I'll write more later.

<3

with everything ahead of us, we left everything behind.

So, I have decided that making a new account would be like deleting this part of my life that I hate looking back on. Why would I want to act like it never happened? Talking to a boy a couple weeks ago, he asked me about my life, what I liked to do for fun, stories that have made it interesting.. despite the fact that it was fairly early in the morning and I was tired and wasn't in my right mind, there was like a blank that I have never experienced before. My whole high school experience has been like a love-hate relationship and I guess acting like it never really happened is just about as pointless as acting like I was never alive until now. Sure, it's been a difficult couple of years and I have learned and experienced and felt loved and unloved, strong and weak, smart and absolutely stupid.. but it's made me who I am now, and as cliche as that sounds, there's nothing more true. 

"sometimes you gotta be your own hero."

times like these call for posts like this. i just dont understand people. the human mind works in rediculous ways and i just dont get it. i need a vacation or a getaway or something to remind me that all of this is just so miniscule to the rest of my life, that high school isn't the end of the world and that whatever i've felt now and in the past 4 years will be a joke. it's always the good guy (girl) that completely loses everything at the end and that's ultimately what i don't understand. i seriously need to reevaluate my life and that is starting today. something happened along the way that altered my well-being, my self esteem, acceptance for myself and my life and all the messed up things that seem to dramatically impact everything i do, always. i wish i didn't have to think so much, analyze and choose. sometimes i wonder if other people are completely as lost as i am, but probably not. i really need to figure out what i want from life, because truthfully, there's never been anything i've been so unsure of. i feel so disconnected from everything. sometimes i'm just so socially akward but so aware at the same time and being both is just the worse feeling in the world. i've never felt so many emotions in such a short amount of time and it's literally driving me crazy. cheers to the insanity of life. but not really.